


fathers

by jesuisdeux



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang & Zuko (Avatar) Friendship, Aang is a great person you can't change my mind, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Humor, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Mentioned Ozai (Avatar), Order of the White Lotus, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, POV Aang (Avatar), Precious Aang (Avatar), Talking, The Gaang Learns How Zuko Got The Scar (Avatar), Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26934256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesuisdeux/pseuds/jesuisdeux
Summary: "I used it once. Against my father."Aang processed the idea of Zuko facing death.Then he processed the words 'against my father'.Something felt wrong, so wrong.orAang and Zuko talk about feelings while learning lighting bend and Aang convinces Zuko that he didn't deserve any of it of course.
Relationships: Aang & Iroh (Avatar), Aang & Zuko (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 373
Collections: avatar tingz





	fathers

**Author's Note:**

> mentions of a burn mark, burning moment but not too graphic.

"I used it once. Against my father."

"How did it feel?" asked Aang with a peaking curiousity.

"It felt so powerful." Zuko paused for a moment. "But you know, with one wrong move, it is the end."

It is the end. They were talking about lighting, after all. Death was so close with it. It was raw energy, something dangerous, something Aang would shy away from learning, maybe. In a different time. But right now, on an old yard, he had to learn it.

_The end._

Then Aang processed the idea of Zuko facing death. 

Then he processed the words _'against my father'_. 

Something felt wrong, so wrong.

 _Fathers_. 

Aang never met his father. Kuzon's father was a pretty cool man though. His father and Kuzon always spent time together and Kuzon learned bending from him. Aang thought firebending was so interesting.

He could never imagine being able to bending fire too by the time.

Even after learning he was the avatar, he couldn't imagine the prince Azulon teaching him firebending. And after getting out of the ice, he couldn't imagine Zuko being his master. Whatever, wrong flow of thoughts.

Bumi's father was pretty busy and he always whined about him being distant, but he was a good person.

And according to Katara and Sokka, father definition hadn't changed much in 100 years. Hakoda was a great father, yes, very badly seperated but he loved his children so much. And being such father at the time of war... Aang appreciated it and thought about how it would be to be a father for a brief moment. Hard, for sure, but... Beautiful. He remembers the birth Katara helped. His tears were streaming down his cheeks, life, a new one, very little, very fragile, so precious.

Even Toph's family wanted the best for her, but yes, Aang has to admit, in the worst ways. They weren't good at their job like Hakoda, definitely. When the two master kidnapped her... But still they somehow wanted her to be safe and Aang found it understandable to a point.

Monk Gyatso was everything to him others would call a father. He was there when he was laughing and he was there when he was crying.

He remembered all the little games they played, pranks they made and at the same time lessons on the ways of bending with quizes on moral philosophy.

But what Zuko just said didn't match up with any of it. It wasn't even close. Fathers weren't supposed to kill you, even when they were evil dictators. Right?

"Wait," Aang said, "'Against your father'? When?"

Zuko looked surprised with the question, as it was something too casual. _Yes, he had two eyes, so what?_

"During the eclipse." he answered slowly. "I mean, he was supposed to not bend, but I guess it took too long." he mused.

"What took too long?"

"I went to confront him."

"And-?"

"And I confronted him?" Zuko said with an eyebrow lifted.

"And he used lighting against you?" asked Aang, hating these words at exact this order, but needing to know. How could he say that so casually?

"Yes, yes he did." answered Zuko. His voice didn't contained much resentment. From an external perspective. "At the end."

But then something in Aang expression, the ruth or the sadness, there wasn't much options really, bugged him. "He is Ozai, what did you expect?" he snapped.

Aang lowered his head. _He is Ozai after all, what did he expect?_ He shook his head slowly, trying to compehend it. Let's say Monk Gyatso and him disagreed on something, having very very violently different ideas, what would happen then?

He is sure he wouldn't get a lighting in his face.

"Whatever," said Zuko and folded his arms. "Thirty fire squads. Now."

Aang stood up and started doing as he told, watching Zuko with the corner of his eye, as he turned his head to hide his scar from him and started brooding. What did he expect? Why was he surprised?

Of course he was surprised. Because one of the interesting things he learned with Monk Gyatso was the layers of persons. Humans were weird, mostly not understandable at all, very layered and sweet- in their own ways. 

In more cliché words, they were not white or black, they were grey. So many different shades. A rainbow of greys.

And Aang had a weird love for all of them, all humans, transcending from his heart. Because even the most terrible person could just pet the goat-dog while walking. It didn't make anyone better or didn't erased their mistakes, Aang knew that. 

But it was something. 

Something important. Something very perplexing. But it was something. No one was completely evil. Aang hoped so.

 _Humans_.

He completed his squads and turned back to where they were seated, breathing heavily. He sat close to Zuko.

Long story short, Ozai could be Ozai, but still could love his son. At least that's what Aang would expect. That's where perplexing part started: Being a terrible dictator and being a good father... were... different things, demonstrating in the same person.

But Ozai was also a terrible father.

Aang knew that he was a terrible leader, a dictator, a fascist, the stupid imperial power hurting people even right now... But there was someone in Zuko's childhood, right? Someone on their family vacations, someone to soothe him after nightmares, someone to to sit together on a dinner table, someone... to be a father in Zuko's life.

He raised his head from where he layed and looked at his teacher's face.

Perhaps he was there, once. Perhaps he was never there. Aang didn't know anything about Zuko's mother.

There was a story like that. There was a father and a son, thinking politically different. Even though Aang knew being fascist or racist wasn't a political opinion, story was like that, whatever. The man was a king and the boy was his heir. The son was getting corrupted and evil, day by day, while the father was so sad over his son changing.

"King Bei Shang..." Aang whispered to himself and immediately regretted it, he gave away himself. Zuko looked at him with a questioning face. But he understood what was he thinking, Aang knew it. He definitely apprehended Aang's intention.

It was a wildly known story back then, and even though it is not good for him right now, knowing they still loved the story after a hundred tears, Aang couldn't stop but feel a weird happiness. 

At some point they confronted each other. The king couldn't hurt his son. No matter how terrible his path was, he didn't do anything to his son. 

But the son betrayed his father. For power. Only power.

Aang and Monk Gyatso discussed the story. First of all, it was a weird motif, Aang always heard stories about new generations being the "good side", young brothers were the protagonists of the stories. Monk Gyatso told him it could depend on the point of view. Who was the good side, really? But it was a totally different topic.

_Monk Gyatso always digged and dragged so many, so interesting topics out of short stories. Aang missed that so much._

But the king couldn't lay a hand on his son. And he paid the price. 

Ozai, on the other hand...

"What about it?" asked Zuko. "The- the story?"

Aang smiled at him guiltily. "Nothing!" he said. "Just-"

His teacher's face wasn't soft, he wanted to keep practising, he definitely didn't want to talk about his feelings. He just wanted to show him the technique that saved his life from his father. No need to be dramatic.

Of course, his feelings didn't matter if the man responsible of the feelings in the first place was breathing, and still hurting others out there.

Aang understood him, but it needed to be resolved at some point. Aang knew, inner peace was important. Zuko thought he was better right now, which he was, but there were still turmoils in there. Another thing Aang learned from Gyatso. _Look after your enemy, look after your friend. Observe_.

"Just," Aang finally builded up his courage, "I think it was similiar to you and-" and Zuko waited for the word, "your- you know-"

"Uncle?" Zuko completed his sentence. 

"The story is most likely me and my uncle. Stabbing him with a dagger behind his back-" he continued with the shadow of guilt in his face.

However Aang didn't understand the sharp description at first. 

"What?"

"Ba Sing Se." answered Zuko, with disgrace.

_Oh. Right._

But what happened in there somehow felt so distant to Aang.

He lifted off himself with bending air and sat up. He remembered being dead, or, somehow asleep for days. He remembered a shady dream. He remembered coming this far and just ending the circle. He remembered the guilt. The loneliness, the desperation.

He tried to forget. He needed to focus on his friend.

"I don't think so." he said strictly. "The story ends there, yes. But yours doesn't! You pushed your destiny far more! Not everyone can do that easily. And anyways, I wasn't talking about it."

Zuko looked at him with surprise. He took Aang's imply as a reminder of his betray. 

"I said it because, well, I am sorry that your father- is like that." cleared Aang. 

Zuko didn't expected it to be- this. So, what is the metaphor? Is he the killer or the victim?

"Aang, I am not understanding you." he tilted his head.

"Your father- he- he shoot lighting at you. I am sorry for that." Aang finally took out of his chest, sighing. "I am very sorry."

But Zuko ignored him completely. "Anyways," he said. "We need to work on lighting bending, come on."

And he strided through the garden as he stood up, leaving Aang behind.

-

Zuko was a good teacher, as Aang learned this year, young masters were really different from older ones. They were somehow easier to understand, thinking of mindsets. 

Zuko was definitely softer than Toph but also harsher than Katara. And even though he never admitted, he was nervous. 

He was nervous about teaching him, Aang could see that much. He couldn't blame him, holding the fate of world at your hands was pretty bad. It included dreams about your pants, math assignments and as it is seen, your father trying to kill you. Aang's heart ached once more with the thought.

"So," he speaked when they stopped working on the flow of the energy. "Who taught you this technique?"

"My uncle," answered Zuko. "If he wasn't there I would be dead." he added under his breath.

Aang didn't know what he referred to- redirecting lighting or older incidents? Or everything happened in his life through these three years?

-

They were just sitting under the sun and meditating. Nearly sleeping, meditating or just sitting under the sun was something firebenders liked, maybe. Aang started to like it too. Yes, he was way more hiperactive compared to Zuko, but bending was also tiring, and Zuko knew when to stop. When Aang really needed to take a rest.

Aang drawed closer to him. Zuko opened his eyes and examined him. Aang and his far too merciful eyes for his liking, he probably thought. Aang was aware that he was making him uneasy with his friendship sometimes. But observing a friend in need and not helping wasn't something he would do.

"What is wrong, Aang?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I am. Do you have any questions about redirecting lighting?"

"You said your uncle developed it while looking at waterbenders."

Zuko nodded sharply.

"When did he even see them? I mean, wasn't he a general?"

Zuko furrowed his brows. He didn't think about it before. "I- I don't know," he said with confusion. "He is not really- ordinary I think."

"I think he is a great person!" Aang encoureged him. It softened Zuko's face somehow.

But while saying "Yeah. Yeah, he is.", there was a hint of feloniousness feeling in his face. 

Aang tried to break this with his smile. 

He wasn't very successful. Not that the topic was very cheering though.

So he asked something to his teacher to distract him.

"But how am I going to practise it?"

Then turned to Zuko with pleading eyes. "Would you shot some lighting at me?"

It didn't come out of his mouth as he intended, actually. But still, teacherly questions were giving him some kind of a responsibility perception. Aang saw a look at Katara, Toph and Zuko. They would straighten and answer him seriously, their eyes would shine with the desire to teach and help. If they could answer and cover the subject well, they would be so happy. 

Their sparkling faces, when they expressed him something as they intended in their minds, was priceless.

But instead of this, Zuko's eyes grew bigger. There was a fury in them. "You are so bad at surviving!" he screamed awkwardly.

Aang furrowed his eyebrows. Zuko was clearly angry now and Aang didn't understand what mistake he had made.

"Agni! You are twelve, and not that I can't do it properly, of course I will not shot lighting at you!"

He sighed and calmed himself down. But there was hurt in his eyes, he wouldn't shot lighting at his student. He was understanding his uncle very well right now.

His second complain was something completely different. Something Aang did a few hours ago and Zuko still having a hard time accepting it.

"And," he started, "I- I did so many thing, I hunted you down through world, and you just- just offered me- an apologize? For my f- Ozai?" he waved at the two of them, the situation. This time he wasn't angry, it was astonishment and gape. 

Of course. Comfort and kindness, something Zuko was foreign.

"I don't see any problem with that." said Aang with a nearly offended voice.

"No, I didn't mean to- whatever." Zuko shook his head slowly. "I didn't mean to be rude. Just- I guess everyone needs a friend like you."

When Aang was ready to encourage him he started stuttering. "I mean, of course, if it's okay for you too, I know, friend is a heavy word-"

"No, of course we are friends, Zuko!" interrupted Aang and nudged him while smiling.

Zuko blushed a bit, Aang, apparently deciding a nudge wasn't enough, immediately went for an hug.

"And of course I will say sorry, what happened to you is not good! It was cruel, and you know it. Right?"

Zuko, whom is dumbfounded with the hug didn't made any noise and Aang let him go.

"He is a cruel man and it was wrong, very very wrong." Aang repeated.

But Zuko just hesitantly looked at his hands instead of approving, even nodding or humming.

"What is wrong?"

Firebender teacher looked hesitant for a second. "I mean, if he wasn't like that, I wouldn't be here today." he said.

An involuntarily "Oh," escaped Aang's mouth.

"If he didn't banished me, or burned me- If he didn't do any of it I am not sure if I could find my path."

 _What an interesting point of view. What a crippled, flawed opinion_.

Banishment, okay. Aang heard it, during thier journeys everyone referred to Zuko as 'banished prince' with a hiss.

But, burn? No. Not okay. Aang didn't want to believe it. But he just heard it clearly. Zuko seemed to not realize his confession, he was still shying away from Aang's gaze.

His red, squinted, nearly angry eye was actually projecting his father's emotions while he was marking him, forever. Aang wasn't sure if these were the only two pain he endured but Zuko was believing that he deserved it. _Burning your own son_.

Aang felt an urge to stand up. He felt a rush of blood and a weird vitality. He started pacing up and down a few steps in front of Zuko. 

He was watching him as he walked -left and right, left and right, left and once again right- confusedly. He opened and closed his mouth. _Burning your own son_.

The feeling was familiar. His heart beats, a little bit anger, and a deep sorrow, so alive, nearly burning- "I think I am going to the Avatar state," he said quickly.

Zuko rised to his feet in a second. "What is wrong?" he asked. "Are you okay? Are we in danger? Where are they?"

Aang knew it wasn't something like that, and it was gone as it came. 

And only thing kept him from going straight to the state was knowing he couldn't help anything. It was in the past. He couldn't save anyone. If it was happening in front of him right now, he didn't know what kind of a power he would unleash. _Burning your own son._

He breathed deeply, put his hands on Zuko's shoulders and made him sit.

"It is okay," he sighed, "I guess it is okay. I am fine now, nothing is wrong."

Zuko sat down reluctantly. Aang seated himself in his face.

"Okay," he started. "You will listen to very carefully what I am about to say. What I will talk about you is my people's teachings, so if you protest it will be very rude and Katara will be very happy to call you a colonist, sorry."

Zuko smiled faintly at the joke but then tensed with curiousity.

"Our sufferings can make us stronger, or better." Aang stated clearly. "And that's okay. It is what happens to everyone, eventually. Yours is harsher than most of the people. Our group is like that, when you think. And I am sorry about that.

"But it doesn't make those sufferings less cruel or abnormal. It is still wrong. And cruel. Saying otherwise justifies him. And I know you don't want to do this. But your guilt is wrong. First of all, do you think Ozai did those things because he wanted you to be better? Why would he want you to join us?"

Zuko remained silent.

"And second, this is wrong necessarianism. You think you couldn't turn to the right side without his disgusting actions, but, this is the question. How do you know? Maybe it is the opposite?"

Zuko opened his mouth to protest but Aang didn't let him with his teasing glare. His threat was working and he smiled wildly. Zuko looked ay him with a teasing reproach.

"Third, let's say, yes, another universe, another series of choices, he was welcoming you and you are bad. So what? You can't be sad about your non-existing versions, can you? I can't be angry at myself for the possibility of a mistake. What matters is, you are here now, and you are on the right path. Monk Gyatso always said 'Fish shouldn't regret the current of the river, he should swim.'"

His teacher nodded slowly, he seemed to understand and surprisingly, accept it.

"Monk Gyatso and my uncle would get along well." he said, smiling.

Pai Sho, soxso many proverbs and an interesting sense of humour. Yes, they probably would.

Aang smiled and agreed. They talked about their 'father's. Their Pai Sho tricks. Their jokes. Their impossible to understand proverbs.

"I am sorry too," said Zuko, at some point.

"What for?" Aang asked.

"For- Monk Gyatso. And the others."

"You didn't exist by the time but thank you."

"I guess you were frozen by the time I was banished."

"Yes, I am 112-years-old, some respect for your elders, my dear son." Aang mimiced his voice as an older person.

He somehow plucked a little laugh from his teacher.

Then there was a silence. Not an awkward or intense one, no, it was understanding and soft. They were just resting in silence, without judgement and hesitation.

Shadows slided down opposite as the Sun. Birds shoot across the sky, shamelessly screaming they existed and they were alive.

"Your uncle will be okay. I am sure." Aang assured him out of nowhere. Nevertheless, considering their thoughts, it wasn't out of nowhere.

Aang wasn't sure. If the old general was anything like his brother, it was better not to expect much kindness from him.

But as much as Aang saw, he was a good man. At Ba Sing Se he gave Aang a beautiful advice and Zuko adored him, he showed it by talking about him and telling his jokes to them. And as they learned not long ago he saved the dragons. While Zuko trying to capture him, Iroh mostly did nothing, except for shopping parfume or searching for his Pai Sho tiles. Toph said he was a sweet old man with an annoying love for his nephew.

Maybe he was nothing like his brother.

"He will forgive you. And if he doesn't, it is okay too, I am here."

-

He wasn't there. When Zuko kneeled in front of his uncle, Aang was too busy finding a way to defeat his father.

And when this conclusive duty was done, when he made sure everyone was alive and, even not very much, well, Aang wanted to ask for Zuko's uncle. 

Iroh was sitting with a strained face at the corridor when Aang approached him. 

Aang's heart sinked. Maybe he wasn't that forgiving. Maybe he didn't see his nephew's good heart yet.

Maybe once again a Fire Lord was underestimating Zuko's value.

But then he heard Katara's joke about Zuko's recklessness and Iroh's lips curled into a sorrowful smile.

"It is very sembolic for new Fire Lord to take the lighting," he said, "Even though I never wanted children to suffer in such cruel battles."

And Aang realized Iroh really wasn't like his brother.

He didn't understand who was the new Fire Lord, what was Zuko's recklessness Katara mentioned, when did Iroh exactly met Zuko again, what was the White Lotus Sokka talked about joining right now.

But everyone looked so excited to tell him. And Aang was excited to listen to them. He could also tell them about the lion-turtle.

Hopefully, war was only going to exist in stories from now on.

**Author's Note:**

> someone please write a fic about aang and gyatso and philosophy. please. (if you do it please let me know!)
> 
> the little story wasn't canon. i don't know what to say much, these guys relationship amazes me. 
> 
> if they sound too white or something, i didn't try to white wash them. even though dk if it is possible. it is just the language i learned from tv. 
> 
> so if there are errors especially grammatical pls tell me! feedback is important
> 
> aaand thank you so much for reading!! it is important too


End file.
